American Idol review by Monkey Critic
Monkey watch TV show called American Idol. Monkey think it worst TV show ever! Stupid humans sing boring songs and then get advice from Paula Abdul? And Ryan Seacrest is like an annoying game show host, but with some sort of brain injury. Only good part is when Simon make stupid singers cry.
Monkey hear that this is one of the most watched shows on TV. Monkey not know what this says about the future of you stupid humans, but monkey thinking it might be time for the invevitable Simian Revolution as was foretold in Planet of the Apes movies (NOT stupid Tim Burton's version). Monkey go now. Monkey have to call friends in jungle and make plans.
What monkey feel most, though, is disenchantment. There no place for a monkey critic in world full of humans who are entertained by this stupid crap. Sadly, it time for monkey to retire from the film/tv review business. To the few humans smart enough to visit blog, monkey say thanks for reading.
Monkey give American Idol no bananas. Monkey throw TV through window in anger and disgust.
Monkey go back to jungle now. Monkey say bye.
Monkey hear that this is one of the most watched shows on TV. Monkey not know what this says about the future of you stupid humans, but monkey thinking it might be time for the invevitable Simian Revolution as was foretold in Planet of the Apes movies (NOT stupid Tim Burton's version). Monkey go now. Monkey have to call friends in jungle and make plans.
What monkey feel most, though, is disenchantment. There no place for a monkey critic in world full of humans who are entertained by this stupid crap. Sadly, it time for monkey to retire from the film/tv review business. To the few humans smart enough to visit blog, monkey say thanks for reading.
Monkey give American Idol no bananas. Monkey throw TV through window in anger and disgust.
Monkey go back to jungle now. Monkey say bye.
8 Comments:
Thank you Monkey Critic, you brightened my days.
I have been preparing for the Great Monkey Revolution for a long time and will do my best to serve my Simian masters.
I lift my banana to you.
By
Anonymous, at 1:03 PM
I'm sad. I loved reading the Monkey. /hug
By
Anonymous, at 1:53 PM
Wow. How much does this suck? Well, thanks for all of the wonderful moments. Will miss you and your blog. Best of bananas to you. . . and, uh, Organic ones are the best. -NW
By
Anonymous, at 7:36 PM
Monkey, me understand your disenchantment, the problem is; don't watch 'regular' tv. Really, anything worth watching is on cable channels, with the exception of Arrested Development and a few other shows that are on 'regular' tv for a short time (Freaks and Geeks anyone?). So yeah, if you're watching what most of the US populus is watching your going to be disappointed, as well as dumb, as you'll no longer need any stimulus than some realtiy show to tell you what others think you need to know. Ya gotta understand, just because we're humans don't mean we're any smarter than monkeys, zebras or lions, we just have that opposable thumb that let's us use guns so we can 'pretend' we're the *superior* species. As Chuck D wrote "Don't believe the hype". Just b/c Am Idol is lame (and an insult to anyone who can form a coherent sentence) doesn't mean that all is lost; it just means that real gems won't get the attention they deserve until much, much later. Look at all the major art movements, same thing. Remember that Van Gogh died with very little money left.
Ok, set RANT_MODE="off" I'm tired, and just finished a weekend planning, and pulling off a great party here at the homestead. Plenty of good food, great music (natch) playing via my iPod, and of course a very big and cold keg.
Monkey, if you're gone for good I'll be a bit disappointed, but I'll understand. I hope you've learned a bit about our 'superior' species, and remember, maybe not having that opposable thumb is a *good thing*; I'd love to trade spaces with you to for a time and see how it is on the other side, I suspect it's pretty sweet in comparision.
I am, and will always be, the faker man.
Thanks.
By
Anonymous, at 10:38 PM
awwww, Monkey, don't go. But if you do, farewell, be happy, stay full on bananas. And don't be a stranger
By
Ali, at 8:51 AM
oh, Monkey, this sucks! I miss you! There are a few good things on TV...but certainly not American Idol.
Good luck in the jungle.
By
Varla, at 7:42 PM
I love your blog!!!! It made me laugh, if I could I would send you bananas
By
Monica, at 9:31 PM
Monkey say thanks!
Sometimes Monkey think about coming back to big city and writing blog again... but then remember how much Monkey hate stupid humans. Monkey stay in jungle for now.
By
Monkey Critic, at 4:42 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home