tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-208524882024-03-13T20:48:55.156-07:00Monkey CriticMonkey watch movies.
Monkey watch TV.
Monkey have opinions.
Monkey write blog.
You send bananas!Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1148563807562621062006-05-25T06:28:00.000-07:002006-05-25T06:30:07.600-07:00American Idol review by Monkey CriticMonkey watch TV show called <strong>American Idol</strong>. Monkey think it worst TV show ever! Stupid humans sing boring songs and then get advice from Paula Abdul? And Ryan Seacrest is like an annoying game show host, but with some sort of brain injury. Only good part is when Simon make stupid singers cry.<br /><br />Monkey hear that this is one of the most watched shows on TV. Monkey not know what this says about the future of you stupid humans, but monkey thinking it might be time for the invevitable Simian Revolution as was foretold in Planet of the Apes movies (NOT stupid Tim Burton's version). Monkey go now. Monkey have to call friends in jungle and make plans.<br /><br />What monkey feel most, though, is disenchantment. There no place for a monkey critic in world full of humans who are entertained by this stupid crap. Sadly, it time for monkey to retire from the film/tv review business. To the few humans smart enough to visit blog, monkey say thanks for reading. <br /><br />Monkey give American Idol no bananas. Monkey throw TV through window in anger and disgust. <br /><br />Monkey go back to jungle now. Monkey say bye.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/American" rel="tag">American</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/Idol" rel="tag">Idol</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/americanidol" rel="tag">americanidol</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/finale" rel="tag">finale</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bye" rel="tag">bye</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/goodbye" rel="tag">goodbye</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/last" rel="tag">last</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/entry" rel="tag">entry</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/farewell" rel="tag">farewell</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1145977079351073062006-04-25T07:57:00.000-07:002006-04-25T07:57:59.376-07:00Thank You For Smoking review by Monkey CriticOver weekend monkey finally get time for self, so monkey see movie called Thank You For Smoking. Movie about stupid lying human who goes around convincing people that it's OK to smoke. It had funny moments, but mostly monkey felt bad for all you stupid humans who are victims of the constant manipulation of the media.<br /><br />If monkey knew how to manipulate media world would be much better. For monkeys, anyway. Monkey would convince everyone that the only food worth eating is bananas. And that monkey would make great film critic. Also, monkey would convince pretty ladies that hairy is sexier than bald, prehensile toes are an indication of virility, and long arms mean long... banana.<br /><br />And monkey's arms are very very long.<br /><br />Monkey give Thank You For Smoking no bananas. Monkey smoke banana peels instead.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/thank" rel="tag">thank</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/you" rel="tag">you</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/for" rel="tag">for</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/smoking" rel="tag">smoking</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1145388314831887742006-04-18T12:20:00.000-07:002006-04-18T12:26:42.746-07:00Stupid jobMonkey hate stupid job. Monkey hate that stupid job keep monkey so busy. Monkey hate that stupid humans blacklist monkey from being movie critic and so monkey not have job satisfaction. Or enough bananas.<br /><br />Why you people not send monkey bananas so monkey not have to work? <br /><br />For those still reading, thank you for keeping the faith and stopping by monkey's blog. Monkey trying to figure out a schedule that allows posting on a regular basis again. In meantime, you send bananas now!!!<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/job" rel="tag">job</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/send" rel="tag">send</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bananas" rel="tag">bananas</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1143754312946208172006-03-30T13:31:00.000-08:002006-03-30T13:31:52.966-08:00BusyMonkey busy. <br /><br />So very very busy.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/busy" rel="tag">busy</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1143223672955602732006-03-24T10:04:00.000-08:002006-03-24T12:30:48.636-08:00Unan1mous review by Monkey CriticWednesday night monkey watch TV show called Unannumberonemous. It about a bunch of stupid humans all locked up together in bunker. They can't come out until they all agree on who gets million dollars.<br /><br />Monkey took vote after watching. The verdict was unanimous: The show stinks.<br /><br />Yes, monkey was alone when voting. <br /><br />Monkey always alone.<br /><br />Monkey give Unanonemous no bananas. Monkey hope stupid humans run out of oxygen instead.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/unan1mous" rel="tag">unan1mous</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/unanonemous" rel="tag">unanonemous</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/unanimous" rel="tag">unanimous</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1143049337071026442006-03-22T09:40:00.000-08:002006-03-22T09:42:17.090-08:00SpringYes, yes. Monkey know it's Spring. That doesn't mean that suddenly all is right with the world. You stop telling monkey to cheer up now!<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/spring" rel="tag">spring</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1142872475019584372006-03-20T08:33:00.000-08:002006-03-20T08:34:35.043-08:00V for Vendetta review by Monkey CriticYesterday monkey watch movie called V for Vendetta. It starred crazy human in mask and pretty lady Natalie Portman. With shaved head.<br /><br /><center><img style="margin: 0px auto 2px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1065/2101/400/vendetta_portrait2.jpg" alt="Pretty bald lady" border="0" /><span style="font-size:78%;">Pretty bald lady</span></center><br />Monkey was surprised to find out V for Vendetta wasn't just regular superhero movie. It was actually intelligent. Of course there was action and explosions but there was more to it than that. It was political allegory, extrapolating on current affairs to tell story about oppressive government and one human fighting to inspire the rest to rise up.<br /><br />Monkey think there might be hope for stupid humans after all.<br /><br />Which makes the upcoming monkey revolution much more difficult. And that pisses monkey off! Stupid humans, you go back to making dumb movies now!<br /><br />Monkey give V for Vendetta no bananas. Instead monkey suggest humans watch stupid Michael Bay movies to rot your brains.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/v" rel="tag">v</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/for" rel="tag">for</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/vendetta" rel="tag">vendetta</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/vforvendetta" rel="tag">vforvendetta</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/natalie" rel="tag">natalie</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/portman" rel="tag">portman</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/natalieportman" rel="tag">natalieportman</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/pretty" rel="tag">pretty</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/shaved" rel="tag">shaved</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bald" rel="tag">bald</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/lady" rel="tag">lady</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1142619677188201512006-03-17T10:20:00.000-08:002006-03-17T10:27:38.456-08:00Cranky MonkeyNo post today. <br /><br />You shut up now!<br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/cranky" rel="tag">cranky</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1142439924742728892006-03-15T08:24:00.000-08:002006-03-15T08:25:24.783-08:00Cell phonesMonkey forgot to mention one thing in review on Monday:<br /><br />Next stupid human who talks on cell phone in movie theater is getting face full of poo!<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/cell" rel="tag">cell</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/phones" rel="tag">phones</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/cellphones" rel="tag">cellphones</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1142266496943578472006-03-13T08:02:00.000-08:002006-03-13T08:14:56.980-08:00Failure to Launch review by Monkey CriticSaturday night monkey see movie called Failure to Launch. Monkey not want to see movie, but there was mix-up with plans. Monkey confused showtimes for Ultraviolet with showtimes for Aquamarine. How monkey supposed to remember which movie is which if Hollywood names them all the same? Stupid movies, you have different names now!<br /><br />As for Failure to Launch, monkey think title of movie says it all.<br /><br />Monkey rate Failure to Launch no bananas. Monkey successfully launch poo at it instead.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/failure" rel="tag">failure</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/to" rel="tag">to</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/launch" rel="tag">launch</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/failuretolaunch" rel="tag">failuretolaunch</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1142007469443326212006-03-10T08:08:00.000-08:002006-03-10T08:17:49.470-08:00Black. White. review by Monkey CriticOther night monkey watch TV show called "Black. White." With periods in title. On show white human family gets made up to be black and black human family gets made up to be white.<br /><br />Monkey think show has good idea and wants to see what happens, but monkey got bored while watching it. And monkey really hate stupid human Bruno. He dumber than a hippopotamus.<br /><br />Monkey not understand why stupid humans care if skin is one color or another anyway. You all look like skinny, hairless apes in funhouse mirror. You should try looking like a monkey for a day. You would be less ugly but other stupid humans would not be nice to you. Maybe then you understand why monkey so cranky all the time!<br /><br />Monkey rate Black. White. two bananas. Monkey rate whoever put periods. in. title. no. bananas.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/black" rel="tag">black</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/white" rel="tag">white</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/black." rel="tag">black.</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/white." rel="tag">white.</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/blackwhite" rel="tag">blackwhite</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1141834023794625212006-03-08T08:05:00.000-08:002006-03-08T08:07:03.813-08:00Word CloudBecause monkey not want to feel left out, monkey give in to peer pressure and make "word cloud" at <a href="http://www.snapshirts.com/">snapshirts.com</a>. Word cloud collects all words on monkey's blog and sticks them together. The bigger the word in the cloud, the more often it's used on monkey's blog.<br /><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 2px; text-align:center;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1065/2101/400/word%20cloud.jpg" border="0" alt="Monkey's word cloud" /><br /><br />Monkey notice the word "stupid" comes up a lot. Also "pretty" and "ladies." And "bananas."<br /><br />Maybe monkey should show this to psychiatrist.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/word" rel="tag">word</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/cloud" rel="tag">cloud</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/wordcloud" rel="tag">wordcloud</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1141661457889658782006-03-06T08:02:00.000-08:002006-03-06T08:12:37.376-08:00Academy Awards review by Monkey CriticLast night monkey watch the 78th Annual Academy Awards. For three and a half hours! Why stupid humans take so long to give out little statues? Probably because they showed 37 montages of old movies. And so many speeches. Monkey not care that you thank your grandmother and agent. Keep show moving so monkey can laugh at humans in funny dresses with ridiculous giant poofy bows on one shoulder like the one worn by otherwise pretty lady Charlize Theron.<br /><br /><center><img style="margin: 0px auto 2px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1065/2101/400/charlize%20theron%20bad%20dress.jpg" alt="Pretty lady with silly bow" border="0" /><span style="font-size:78%;">Pretty lady with silly bow</span></center><br />And monkey very very upset to see so many humans in the Kodak Theater! Clearly they not want to boycott <a href="http://monkeycritic.blogspot.com/2006/02/academy-award-nominations_02.html">like monkey asked</a>. King Kong winning stupid Oscars for sound mixing and visual effects not enough! There no excuse for Kong not winning Best Actor. Monkey very unhappy with the complete lack of simian presence on entire show (except for another stupid careerbuilders.com commercial). If Academy not nominate any non-hominid primates next year, monkey might recruit all monkey's friends and simian-friendly humans to start media campaign and protest show with pickett line outside.<br /><br />Or monkey might just fling poo.<br /><br />Probably just fling poo.<br /><br />Monkey rate 78th Annual Academy Awards no bananas. Monkey rate all humans who went to show instead of boycotting negative one million bananas.<br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/academy" rel="tag">academy</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/award" rel="tag">award</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/nominations" rel="tag">nominations</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/awards" rel="tag">awards</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/oscar" rel="tag">oscar</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/oscars" rel="tag">oscars</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/charlize" rel="tag">charlize</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/theron" rel="tag">theron</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/charlizetheron" rel="tag">charlizetheron</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1141402326491841902006-03-03T08:09:00.000-08:002006-03-03T08:12:06.513-08:00The Office review by Monkey CriticLast night monkey watch TV show called The Office. Monkey laugh at boss human Steve Carell. If monkey worked with boss human Steve Carell, monkey would go bananas. No doubt monkey would throw poo at him. And Dwight. Also monkey think Jim is annoying, so he would get pooed, too.<br /><br />But monkey wouldn't throw poo at pretty lady Pam. Only at her stupid boyfriend.<br /><br />That's a lot of poo. Good thing monkey not work there.<br /><br /><center><img style="margin: 0px auto 2px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://images.zap2it.com/20050913/jennafischer_40yearoldvirginpr_240.jpg" alt="Pretty office lady" border="0" /><span style="font-size:78%;">Pretty office lady</span></center><br />Now that monkey think about it, monkey want to throw that much poo every day at current job. But monkey can't because not want to be fired. Monkey need bananas. You send bananas so monkey can throw poo at stupid human co-workers!<br /><br />Monkey give The Office no bananas. Also, monkey give current job no bananas. And no poo, either (for now...).<br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/the" rel="tag">the</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/office" rel="tag">office</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/steve" rel="tag">steve</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/carell" rel="tag">carell</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/pretty" rel="tag">pretty</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/lady" rel="tag">lady</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1141230381104987542006-03-01T08:23:00.000-08:002006-03-01T08:28:09.560-08:00The LotteryMonkey hate stupid lottery. How many times monkey going to have to buy tickets for lottery before monkey win???<br /><br />Monkey been buying lottery tickets for years now and most ever won was one stupid dollar. Monkey not need one stupid dollar. Monkey need 89 million stupid dollars! Monkey could get lots and lots of bananas with 89 million dollars. And maybe pretty ladies, too.<br /><br />Stupid lottery, you pick monkey's numbers now!<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/lottery" rel="tag">lottery</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/lotto" rel="tag">lotto</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/million" rel="tag">million</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/millions" rel="tag">millions</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1141056852820195052006-02-27T08:13:00.000-08:002006-02-27T08:14:12.866-08:00Winter Olympics review by Monkey CriticOver the weekend monkey watch TV show called Winter Olympics. Monkey not want to, but it was on 100 channels all the time. Monkey not like it. It look way too cold for monkey. Monkey come from jungle. Monkey not want to be in snow.<br /><br />Also, what kind of crazy games they play? Skiing is OK, but why you stupid humans combine skiing and shooting into one event? Who names an event "skeleton"? And don't get monkey started on curling. Stupid curlers, you go play a real sport now!<br /><br />Closing ceremonies also bored monkey. Monkey almost fall asleep while stupid humans in white dresses make shape of stupid white bird. And what does human singer Ricky Martin have to do with Winter Olympics in Italy?<br /><br />Monkey rate Winter Olympics no bananas. Instead monkey introduce new exhibition sport: poo flinging at stupid humans.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/winter" rel="tag">winter</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/olympics" rel="tag">olympics</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/winterolympics" rel="tag">winterolympics</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1140793600020683302006-02-24T07:04:00.000-08:002006-02-24T07:06:40.023-08:00Dressing roomsMonkey went to store to buy some new clothes yesterday. Stupid humans never make clothes that fit monkey very well, so monkey went to dressing room to try them on. Store had one set of dressing rooms that was used by both men and women. Also, dressing room walls don't go all the way up.<br /><br />Since monkey so good at climbing in jungle, monkey climbed up and looked over walls to find pretty ladies. Monkey crawled along top but only found stupid men and one very NOT pretty lady.<br /><br />So it really wasn't worth getting kicked out of mall.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/dressing" rel="tag">dressing</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/room" rel="tag">room</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/voyeur" rel="tag">voyeur</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1140625964034392692006-02-22T08:20:00.000-08:002006-02-22T08:32:44.056-08:00PlantainsPlantains are NOT bananas. Monkey know they look similar but are very very different. Bananas are yellow, soft on the inside, and taste yummy. Plantains are green, hard, and taste like rotten potatoes. <br /><br />So stop sending monkey plantains instead of bananas! Monkey not think it's funny. If one more stupid human sends plantains, monkey going to send something back. Something that looks similar to chocolate but is very very different. <br /><br />Don't push monkey!<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/plantains" rel="tag">plantains</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bananas" rel="tag">bananas</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1140452447118038242006-02-20T08:18:00.000-08:002006-02-20T08:22:14.216-08:00Date Movie review by Monkey CriticSaturday monkey saw movie called Date Movie. But since no pretty ladies wanted to go on date, monkey went alone and sat in back. <br /><br />Monkey would review movie more but it not easy to see screen when sobbing into bucket of popcorn.<br /><br />Monkey give Date Movie no bananas. Monkey give pretty ladies no bananas. Monkey give bucket of popcorn one banana.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/date" rel="tag">date</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/movie" rel="tag">movie</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/datemovie" rel="tag">datemovie</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1140197352587174362006-02-17T09:28:00.000-08:002006-02-17T21:38:00.650-08:00Monkey's stiff neckMonkey sleep on bed with old lumpy mattress. Monkey should buy new bed but still need more bananas, so monkey keep sleeping on stupid old mattress.<br /><br />Yesterday monkey wake up with stiff neck. It hurt very bad on left side, especially if monkey try to turn head. So all day long monkey walk around with head tilted to side. <br /><br />Friend of monkey wanted to help and said he learned how to straighten it out from a chiropractor. He grabbed monkey's head and jerked it quickly to the right.<br /><br />Now both sides of neck hurt.<br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/stiff" rel="tag">stiff</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/neck" rel="tag">neck</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/lumpy" rel="tag">lumpy</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/mattress" rel="tag">mattress</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1140021763781008212006-02-15T08:38:00.000-08:002006-02-15T08:50:57.143-08:00Valentines Day, part 2Monkey say thanks to nice humans and pretty ladies who commiserated with monkey yesterday. <br /><br />Monkey NOT say thanks to stupid pretty lady at work who, when monkey gave her banana, patted monkey on head and said "You're a great friend."<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/valentine" rel="tag">valentine</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/valentines" rel="tag">valentines</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/day" rel="tag">day</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/valentinesday" rel="tag">valentinesday</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/just" rel="tag">just</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/friends" rel="tag">friends</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1139932435044569422006-02-14T07:52:00.000-08:002006-02-14T07:53:55.063-08:00Valentines DayMonkey hate Valentines Day. It just stupid fake holiday to force male humans to buy cards and flowers and candy. And it make single people feel sad and lonely. <br /><br />Single monkeys, too.<br /><br />Stupid Valentines Day, you stop reminding monkey not have pretty lady girlfriend!<br /><br />When monkey rules over all stupid humans, Valentines Day will be banned. Anyone sending greeting cards on February 14th will get face full of monkey poo. Anyone sending flowers will be fed to hippopotamuses. Only exception is pretty ladies allowed to send bananas to monkey. In fact, pretty ladies <span style="font-style:italic;">required</span> to send bananas to monkey.<br /><br />In meantime, monkey go and cry self back to sleep now.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/valentine" rel="tag">valentine</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/valentines" rel="tag">valentines</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/day" rel="tag">day</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/valentinesday" rel="tag">valentinesday</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1139848172390058852006-02-13T08:29:00.000-08:002006-02-13T08:29:32.516-08:00CoffeeYou stupid humans do one thing right: Sweet, sweet coffee. Monkey love coffee. Monkey drink it every day. <br /><br />Sometimes monkey drink it hot, sometimes monkey drink it cold, sometimes monkey drink it with chocolate mixed in.<br /><br />Sometimes monkey drink too much coffee and start climbing and jumping and screaming like back in jungle. Also, it make monkey have to pee a lot. <br /><br />And sometimes, like today, monkey run out of coffee. <br /><br />Don't mess with monkey when that happens.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/coffee" rel="tag">coffee</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/caffeine" rel="tag">caffeine</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/starbucks" rel="tag">starbucks</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1139679527438067342006-02-11T09:37:00.000-08:002006-02-11T09:38:47.453-08:00Arrested Development FINALE review by Monkey CriticLast night monkey stay home and watch final episodes of TV show called Arrested Development. Last half hour was the most brilliant comedy monkey ever seen. But that not matter to stupid Fox executive humans. That not matter to stupid American public humans. <br /><br />Monkey very very angry with all stupid humans. Even pretty ladies.<br /><br />Monkey hope you enjoy your stupid Skating with Celebrities and Dancing with Stars and Masturbating with B-List Publicity Whores. Monkey hope you rot your brains with bland emptiness and cliched writing of Joey, Freddie, Yes Dear, King of Queens and all other crap that passes for comedy. Monkey hope you wind up on autopsy table on CSI, Law and Order, Cold Case, Bones, or any of stupid repetitive "procedural shows." And monkey hope you choke on Fear Factor's duck embryos, horse penises, and pig rectums.<br /><br />Monkey hate you all!<br /><br />Monkey rate Arrested Development finale four million bananas. Now go away and leave monkey alone!<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/arrested" rel="tag">arrested</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/development" rel="tag">development</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/finale" rel="tag">finale</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/arresteddevelopment" rel="tag">arresteddevelopment</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bluth" rel="tag">bluth</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bluths" rel="tag">bluths</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20852488.post-1139590241370478862006-02-10T08:46:00.001-08:002006-02-10T09:00:02.253-08:00Arrested Development review by Monkey CriticFor three seasons monkey watch TV show called Arrested Development. Apparently monkey was only one. Tonight Fox airs final four episodes (against Winter Olympics opening ceremonies) and then it off to DVD heaven.<br /><br />Arrested Development was only show that make monkey laugh out loud. It funny, clever, and always surprising. Plus, it had giant banana stand! <br /><br />But you stupid humans not watch it. You watch sitcoms like According to Jim or King of Queens instead. Another reason why monkey hate you all.<br /><center><br /><img style="margin: 0px auto 2px; display: block; text-align: center;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1065/2101/400/arrested%20development%20amazon%20240.jpg" alt="Monkey hate everyone who not watch Arrested Development" border="0" /><span style="font-size:78%;">Monkey miss Bluth family already</span><br /></center><br />Monkey give Arrested Development four bananas. Monkey give Fox no bananas because they not ever promote show. And monkey fling poo at American TV audience for having terrible sense of humor.<br /><br /><div class="tags">Tags: <ul><li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/review" rel="tag">review</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/arrested" rel="tag">arrested</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/development" rel="tag">development</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/arresteddevelopment" rel="tag">arresteddevelopment</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bluth" rel="tag">bluth</a></li> <li><a href="http://del.icio.us/MonkeyCritic/bluths" rel="tag">bluths</a></li> </ul></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><br><p>
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<br><p></div>Monkey Critichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06942454656261906514noreply@blogger.com5